Well, I apologize for not posting yesterday, gentle reader, but I was recuperating. It seems I had a bit of the funk - i.e. food posioning - over the weekend. I called Kitty and asked her to come and shoot me but she was at home getting drunk all by herself (Please note - she was getting drunk with our racing friends on the phone and she somehow classifies this as NOT drinking alone....I can get behind that).
Anyhooooo, since I'm sure you don't want to hear about how I had both ends active at the same time all weekend (note to Capt. Nutty - remember that antique trashcan you gave me? you probably don't want it back), I will proceed to my next piece of big news. I won't even go into the lessons learned this weekend - like don't eat from the omelet bar at the office cafeteria and go ahead and invest in the more expensive toilet paper cause a little extra softness goes a long way with the old chocolate star (okay, I grossed myself out with that one but it does make me chortle).
So for the big news -
I have quit my job and I'm starting my own firm. Yep. Yep, I've gone mental. What can I say? Workin for da'man was keeping me down. Interfering with my blogging and such. Interfering with my ability to instant message my compatriots all the live long day. Well, and since I really don't want to go do the same shit for another firm, might as well as do it for myself (this approach seems to be working in my sex life so why not my professional life.....hmmm...perhaps a bad comparison).
So as of next Monday, kids, I'm on my own. That means cash donations will be accepted from all. No amount to small but 10's and 20's spend nicely and tend to stay under the IRS' radar(from whom I'm still awaiting my refund, the rat bastards - apparently the public apology was not enough).
So let's see, if I have the necessary signs that it's time to venture out on your own:
Sweaty palms - check
Nausea - check
Flat broke - check
Large mortgage - check
Need to attend more Nascar races - check
Might as well open my own law firm.
So if you've been injured on an offshore oil rig, call Floyd's Tailgate Law Firm - we'll recover for you!