Saturday, May 07, 2005

Things Learned on a Saturday

1. Nothing screams "SINGLE, NO MAN IN HER LIFE WOMAN" more than a chick mowing her own lawn in the south.

2. My sweat smells like cat urine. Explains quite a bit but is still extremely disturbing.

3. You're supposed to water your lawn PRIOR to fertilizing....doesn't this seem counter-intuitive?

4. The Princess sees nothing wrong in calling me on the home phone from her cell phone while she reclines in bed to simply check and see if I'll take her to Waffle House.

5. Good god but does every kid in the free universe play soccer on Saturday mornings? Sheesh, there has been a constant flow of mini-vans with screaming youngsters in the back rolling down my street (all pitying the poor, single manless, cat pee smelling woman mowing her yard).

6. If you go too long without dumping the mower bag, the grass will clog the motor and cause it stall. Seriously, isn't the mower's purpose in life to cut grass? And it just decides to stop if it has TOO much grass? Seems counter-intuitive as well.

7. The word for the day is "counter-intuitive".

8. Life is much more busy on a Saturday when not hungover.

9. Telemarketers have no problem calling on a Saturday morning and interupting your dream of having lunch with Tony Stewart.

10. All work on Saturday means a drunken brew ha-ha planned for Saturday night.


VI said...

hey woman...
if you would like an invitation to my digital port.... let me know... I will send it to you.

The Macek Collective said...

your sweat smells like cat urine..... God you get me hot.

Kitty said...

Lunch with WHO?