Friday, May 06, 2005

I Am SOOOOO Smart

Yesterday, I was scheduled to attend a seminar in Columbus - about a 2 hour trip away from home base. This of course means I had to leave the house at dark:thirty in the morning to arrive by the 8:30 starting time. All "motivated" and "working responsibly for myself now" I made all sorts of arrangements - like I had my cousin take the Princess of Darkness to school and let some boy (!) bring the Princess home from school.

Got in the car and started off. Very, very proud of myself considering I had partaken of a few cocktails the previous night yet still managed to rouse myself from slumber and proceed to west Georgia, i.e. the armpit of the south. I stopped 3 times to purchase more caffeine as I was having a wee bit of trouble staying awake but still impressed with my moxie, I proceeded along the way without killing myself or any fellow travelers (that bird had it coming - it was clearly committing suicide and I cannot be held responsible).

I arrived in Columbus and made my way to the hotel where the seminar was to occur. Turned off the motor and gave myself a congratulatory pat on the back for arriving on time. I then proceeded to gather my materials and head in.

I looked down at my registration and......waaaiiiit for it.....the seminar is scheduled for May 6 not May 5. Yep, I burned 4 hours on a round trip to shit hole Georgia for absolutely nothing. Nothing at all.

Don't you want to entrust your legal issues with me? *chirp* * chirp* Anyone? Hello?

5 comments:

Cowboy Dan said...

My brother (after learning about your new employment and lack of clientel) said he had a pet rock in his backyard that was thinking about adopting some pea gravel. You interested?

Anonymous said...

You are too funny.

Jodi
The Crooked Cervix

VI said...

that sucks big ole fat ass!
I am really sorry it was for nothing.

Lola said...

I'm sure me or one of my drunk ass friends will need a lawyer sooner or later. We'll be happy to hire you.

The Macek Collective said...

You should have taken some hallucinogenic mushrooms and headed for the butterfly conservatory.