Monday, June 27, 2005

Still Breathing...Barely But Breathing Nonetheless

I'm not dead yet. Despite trying to throw my body into some sort of alcohol induced coma, the old ticker keeps ticking. I did manage to sober up for a day or two last week and I've even managed to conduct a tiny bit of business (gotta make money for booze, after all).

I am currently planning on fleeing the state in order to continue my bender. So of course I will be attending the Pepsi 400 at the lovely Daytona International Speedway. I will be taking good old Cowboy Dan with me as it seems like I'm unable to bring forth a good puke-inducing-booze-related drunken rambling without her. Plus, I usually make her drink a 12 pack on the drive down to Daytona merely for my amusement - and trust me, it's amusing.

We will be meeting Kitty at the track and she drives her 38 foot motor coach up for our recreational pleasure. Yes, the motor coach is Kitty's - I told you the only thing keeping her from being a guy is the penis.

Anyhoooooo, I'll try to fill you in a little more later but for now I'm off to meet some new client who is so foreign that I can't understand a single word he says over the phone. Hopefully, I'll develop the ability to read lips in the next 10 minutes and I'll be able to comprehend what kind of help this fella needs. But frankly, who are we kidding - between my non-existent-been-drinking-for-two-weeks voice and his innate foreigness - we're screwed.

4 comments:

cowboy dan said...

I hope this "client" business doesn't distract you from necessary race preparations. Our schedule is tight as it is.

Kitty said...

Race preparations indeed. Drop the "client" and I suggest holdilng off on working for at least another week.

Pixie LaRouge said...

Now now now, Cowboy Dan and Kitty, if she doesn't deal with Mr. Hard-to-Understand, how will she collect enough money to support a really GOOD drunken weekend? Besides, she can grab the beer while she's out...

Oh, and I'm going to sit quietly over here in the Hellmouth that is Oklahoma and be ferociously jealous of all three of you =P

Magoozie said...

Have a SPECTACULAR time at the races! drink oh, say a whole bunch in honor of us working (and hating every moment) folks... and when you get back, could you possibly squeeze in a visit with the little people?! Oh how we (ok, me) miss you!