Like Sands Through the Hourglass...

8:15 It’s Friday. Where the hell is the free breakfast?

8:19 I love McDonald’s biscuits.

8:26 What’s for lunch?

8:36 Maybe I should do some work….

8:47 Hmmm…perhaps I should have gotten the last name of the family where Princess of Darkness is spending the night.

9:14 Why is Cowboy Dan the only one that works this early in the damn morning?

9:15 I bet Fat Baby’s Mamma is still asleep, that cow.

9:22 It’s only 9:22, plenty of time to work later.

9:47 Pretend to work. Pretend to work. Pretend to work.

11:30 Lunch – Anal coworker and I must go early to beat the crowds….not going early to avoid working, honest.

12:48 Need 5th Diet Coke of the day to avoid post-luncheon food coma.

1:08 Wonder if Princess of Darkness remembered to take along the good dried chicken bones? She’ll need them for the ritual sacrifice.

1:34 How long 'till it’s beer time?

2:29 Hmmm…email from stepfather reveals Princess of Darkness has run up 4,000 minutes on her cell phone.

2:32 Punishing Princess of Darkness is always fun…..perhaps I should paint her room pink…that would learn her.

3:06 This time next week, I’ll be Drunky McDrunk at Daytona and living the redneck lifestyle.

3:07 God, I wish it was next week.

3:48 Seriously, how much longer do I have to sit here and play good worker?

4:03 Wonder if they’ve posted the General Hospital update on TV guide online yet.

4:04 Nope…damn their slow asses! Don’t they know Jason has been shot?!

4:05 I hate people who use exclamation points in their writing.

4:46 My friends who don’t work are already sitting at the Paradise drinking. Damn this capitalistic society that makes me work! Bring on Communism, you pinkie bastards! I want to live off the government teat!

4:47 I bet Fat Baby’s Mamma passed out with a bourbon bottle in her hand around 2 this afternoon.

4:54 Apparently, the only other person not working is Cowboy Dan with whom I have now exchanged my 56th email of the day – and we’ve included Fat Baby’s Mamma on all them. She’s going to have a lot of reading to do when roused out of her drunken stupor.

5:03 When did the work world go from standard 9 to 5 days to 8:30 to 5:30? I wasn’t consulted, I didn’t agree. Who’s bright idea was this crap?? Anal Coworker already escaped to his family – why can’t I have a family that lets me escape? Blast you, Princess of Darkness!! Can’t you use one of the 4,000 minutes to call me with some emergency?

5:16 I can literally hear the sweet, sweet siren call of the Bud Light.

5:28 Screw this. I’m out of here.