Friday, July 22, 2005

Have You Ever...

So gentle readers, have you ever...

...plucked your eyebrows with the same tweezers you just used to remove a tick of your dog's ass?

...based solely on the smell of a fart, thought, "Wow...I must surely be dying?"

...told clients that you couldn't meet with them because you were caught up in court when actually you were sitting around in your pajamas watching Oprah while eating a big bowl of ice cream?

Ummmmm...yeah....me neither.

7 comments:

Kitty said...

Me thinks you're lying

dukkillr said...

I have every intention of doing one of those things soon.

Anonymous said...

I think I just pee'd a little bit. You are just too funny!

Julie (posting from home)

talesfromthestirrups.blogspot.com

Lola said...

I swear to fuckin' God you are my long lost sister.

Mrs. Ca said...

I've done something similar to the Oprah thing, but it was telling my husband that yes I had worked out today, when really I had watched Oprah and eaten potato chips. Much more fun anyway.

kari said...

Me either. Especially the second one.

Bottle Rocket Fire Alarm said...

The plucking.. what came first, the tick or the brow? was there a washing in between?

And to answer your question, no, I have done one of those.

Now, if you substitue baseball for Oprah and jalapeno chips for ice cream....