Smooth Talker

You ever have one of those conversations that starts to get a little uncomfortable or you just don’t know what to say next but then your brain, that really didn’t check in with you first, blurts out something completely obscure.

Let me give you an example, gentle reader.

Boss pops in to follow up on some work. Pleasant conversation (for once, thank god). He, being the nice person that he is and remembering that Princess of Darkness is in Florida this week, says “So how are things at home? Enjoying some time by yourself?”

Now, attempting to complete the circle of small talk, I say “Things are good. It’s been nice to be alone.”

But then in my “must analyze every single little statement death” freak out mode I start to worry cause I don’t want folks to think I don’t love the Princess, so I then say “But I miss her.”

We’re all okay up to this point. Things are smooth. Appropriate pleasantries have been exchanged and if I just keep my mouth shut for 2.7 seconds, I can get out of this conversation and return to contemplating the snot that is dripping down the back of my throat.

But then in my usual “can’t leave any spec of dead air unfilled” obsession, my brain feels compelled to add one more little gem…..and WAAAAIIIIT FOR IT…..

“You know I miss her….kinda like a dog”.

Yeeeaahhhh. Boss just tilts head to the side, kinda looks at me oddly and walks out of office. I’m expecting a call from Child Services any minute now.