Bristol - we came, we saw, we got knee-walking piss drunk. Someone should throw that on a bumper sticker.
So,fun was had by all. I would like to tell many soul tickling tales of fun from Bristol....but one doesn't know where to start...
Perhaps one should start with passing the "I'm A Lady Discount Lingerie Store"? (As opposed to passing the "I'm A Man Discount Lingerie Store")
Perhaps one should start with all the race fans who acted like this was the first time they've seen a little red wagon? We pulled up with wagon in tow and you would have thought we were hauling a modern scientific miracle. Those Bristol fans just love them some new-fangled technology! Like wheels! And a wagon! With a beer cooler! My god, IT'S GENIUS!
Perhaps I should begin with one young suiter who tried to woo me in his pop-up camper? Sort of a pop-up in a pop-up? Get it? Hahahahahaha
Perhaps I should begin with the frantic search for a little rubber raincoat for one member of our little gang? Sadly, search unsuccessful and therefore subsequent romance unsuccessful. Pity. (And no, Daddy, I'm NOT talking about me)
Perhaps I should begin with the phone call received from the one "most likely to be shot" client who has my cell phone number and called me in mid-drunk? I believe I gave some relevant advice like "Fuck them, those fuckers! They can't fucking do that! They don't know who they're fucking dealing with, Sista!" (Please note: said comment was made to 62 year old, african american special ed lady teacher who I happen to be representing - expecting call from state bar any minute now)
Perhaps I should begin with the fact that one of use ran out of clean underwear so in a show of solidarity we all ditched our drawers? (By the way, the chafing creme works)
Perhaps I should begin with our attempts to find a "shortcut" out of the track where we decided to scurry under a fence and make like mountain goats down the side of a hill so steep that all other race fans stopped to call and heckle our descent?
Perhaps I should begin with my fall on said hill and how I managed to find some thorns on said hill with my said underwearless ass?
Perhaps I should simply not relay ANY of these stories....me thinks me already shared too much.
Like I said, fun was had by all.
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3 comments:
not a good story to read as i am talking to my aircraft. The radio beeped and I had live air as i read "the creme works" I'm sure all of the atlanta air traffic wants to know what I was laughing at.. thanks floyd!! I love it
Floyd, dear, you are a crackhead, loony, freak of nature. I so love this blog :)
ROFLMAO at the image of your drunk ass rolling down the hill to the sweet musical soundtrack of thousands of drunk race fans. So glad the creme worked, btw
I think I peed my underwearless self for the second time from vision of Floyd rolling down the hill, again.
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