The POD is readjusting to civilian life. School has started and we are settling back into a routine. She is still the same child that I sent away to camp but there is a subtle improvement. She has matured some over the summer, which is welcome relief. However, she still wants to watch every episode of Hannah Montana on the Disney channel. What can I say? She’s a contradiction in terms.
However, this brings us to my role in her life. I offer the following for you perusal.
A sister feeds you mini-pizza for a nutritious well-balanced dinner.
A mother holds your hair while you puke up said pizza a few hours later.
A sister flees the area upon realizing the toilet is now clogged with vomit and a stench unlike any she has known before.
A mother rolls up her pajama pants and mops the smelliest mess ever produce from the bathroom floor while mentally cussing the plumbing in the shit hole house (ummm…. a mother might not use the phrase “shit hole” but it was warranted in this particular situation).
A sister packs a kid off to bed with a “Gee, I hope you feel better”.
A mother tucks said kid into her own bed and then sleeps on the 2 square inches of the king size bed that the child has not commandeered in the middle of the night.
A sister fetches Krispy Kremes for breakfast as requested by semi-recovered child this morning.
A mother makes dry toast and prays it stays down said kid’s gullet.
I WANT A FUCKING MOTHER’S DAY CARD, PEOPLE! A MOTHER’S DAY CARD! AND IT NEEDS TO BE HALLMARK! AND OVERSIZED! ONE OF THOSE $5.00 CARDS WITH FLOWERS ON THE FRONT AND MUSHY WORDS INSIDE!
A bunch of flowers wouldn’t kill you either.
I’m just saying.