Tuesday, January 24, 2006

I Got Nothing

I'm not trying to be so quiet, I just got nothing. Nothing to say about nothing.

To prove this, I tender the following thoughts that have gone through my pea brain this day:

"I haven't worn clean socks in over a month."

"Good god, what does that mean for the status of my underwear?"

"Hmmm...if the feds are so all-fired-up on this wire tapping thing, does this mean their recording my internet porn usage too?"

"I think my head is going to explode."

"What is the probability of my ovaries staging a mutiny and leaving my body the hard way?"

"What in all holy hells is that smell? ....Oh, right, the socks."

"How many phone calls can a lawyer refuse to return before it officially becomes malpractice?"

"Wonder if people on the internet can tell when I'm picking my nose."

"Is pot roast fattening?"

"Shit on a cracker, internet porn isn't illegal, is it? Seriuosly, for $100,000 they should have taught us that in law school."

"If my law school reunion is in April, that give me 4 months to loose 100 pounds.....no problem....I can start tomorrow."

"Wonder if POD knows that I simply picked up her uniform from yesterday off the floor and gave it to her today to rewear."

"Wonder if any doctors will voluntarily wire your jaw shut even though you're not injured."

"Dude, I could still totally drink beer with my jaw wired."

"God, I've got to come up with a bloggable topic."

See? I told you....lights are on, no one home.

6 comments:

The Macek Collective said...

You should buy some cats. Like 40 of them

Pixie LaRouge said...

you make nothing funny. And somehow, that's supposed to be a compliment...

The Paradise Lesbian said...

Hey floyd,
The Good fairy took care of your tab tonight. when you get Rich & Famous you can return the favor.
See Ya!!

Dancewriter said...

man, I sure wish my "something" was even half as funny as your "nothing!"

Bottle Rocket Fire Alarm said...

Try crack. Wow what a feeling.

Sophmom said...

Throw that uniform for a short tumble in the dryer (with a dryer sheet) and NOBODY will know it's the same one she wore yesterday!!!!