Wednesday, April 05, 2006

A Marketer's Wet Dream

So now that I'm all "laptop friendly, I'm reconnecting with my first love. Television. This of course has led me to one of my usual dilemmas.

For instance, I'm apparently gonna have to go buy some new lotion (and for those of you who read "lotion" and immediately thought "masturbation" - shame on you). There's a new commercial for a new Lubriderm. Lubriderm with Sea Kelp! It gives you marvelous skin according to the model who last ate a cracker last Thursday.

Well, dammit! I already have twelve other versions of Lubriderm! Can't they pick a fucking additive and stick with it. I've got the "original Formula" and it does a bang up a job. I then saw the ad for the one with oatmeal and thought "Well, I don't eat the shit, so I might as well slather on the body. That totally counts for healthy, right?".

And holy mother of God! How the hell am I supposed to know whether I have sensitive skin or not?

Do I need Advance Therapy? What the hell is Advance Therapy? Was the previous like "Dark Ages Therapy"? What is the age limit for Advance Therapy? Was it fucking 30 thirty cause I'm late!

And NO, I don't want skin cancer but I also don't want to walk around smelling like I can't find the beach. I don't like SPF! Does it stand for "hey, Stupid Pay For this?" Cause that's what I'm thinking!

I guess I gotta go with the Sea Kelp except well it probably smells like a Mermaid's sally. Yuck,

Good god, I've got to get a hobby.

6 comments:

VI said...

Actually, from what I have been told, a Mermaid's sally smells like sushi.

enough said!

Anonymous said...

forget the hobby. get a
jooooooooooooooob.

Tara's World said...

But the fish will Love you!

kari said...

I'm that way with new mascara. I always want them. Not so much with the lotion...okay...the lotion too. I'm a sucker.

rosebud said...

She puts the lotion in the basket....I am a sucker for lotions too. Bath and Body works is a place I have to avoid or I end up spending too much on overpriced but great smelling emollients.

Sophmom said...

I need the stuff that burns off the old wrinkly layers of skin. Battery acid, or some such thing. Glad to hear you're liking the laptop.