Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Look At Me! Look At Me!

Well smack my ass and call me Sally....February 1 was my anniversary! As very appropriate for my life, I seemed to have celebrated by putting my dog down. Do I know how to party or what?

On a much better note, I also celebrated with a new look! I mean HOLY CRAP! Do I look fan-freaking-tastic or what? My old pal Zoot designed a whole new look for me and let's be clear - she totally rocks. I love her with a love that is slightly embarassing and most assuredly wrong by baptist standards.

I feel like I should have some wise words of wisdom or at least something witty to say on this auspicious occassion but as usual, when I need the words, they simply won't come (Kinda like my sex life! HA! Get it? Won't come? Sex life? Thank you, folks, I'll be here all week!)

Anywhoooo, so I went back and looked at my very first few posts....and wow, the fact that you people are still here amazes the ever-living pee out of me.

Perhaps some reflection on how life has changed in the last year would be appropriate at this venture. I do sense a bit of a pattern - which might be new for y'all but really doesn't surprise me at all. When I make some changes, I make some big ass changes. Nothing small for this kid...including the size of my ass but that's another post entirely.

Okay, sooooooo in the last year.....

1. I quit my job. There's a biggie for you! Quit job and started own law firm. Yep, also related - applied for that frontal lobotomy.
2. I became abundantly poor. See number 1 above.
3. My ass has gone from the size of a small third world country to the size of unified Europe. And I'm not even going to mention what the France part looks like.
4. I'm trying to sell my house to enmesh myself further into surburbia. See number 2 above.
5. I've had to substantially cut down on my racing time as my duties with POD have intervened. POD has met my "I will not change my social life to care for this child" mentality with her "I will do everything in my power to make you crazy and fear for my life" actions. Parenthood...it's a bitch and despite never having conceived, I have the stretch marks to prove it. See number 3 above.
6. Working from home means no more concern about surfing porn during work hours. (not that I do that because that would be WRONG and would basically make me a guy but it's nice to know I have the option).
7. Regular blogging becomes more difficult when you're not doing it behind a boss' back on the sly. I mean who am I screwing here? Where's the fun in that?
8. I've learned that the mortgage company will wait three months before foreclosure and a car company will wait three months before repossession. I won't say how I know this....let's just assume it's for a client, shall we?
9. I've learned that I'm a blogger stereotype in that I think I can write a book. And really who are we kidding there? Have we seen my spelling and grammar skills? Have we seen my inability to pull together a cohesive topic? Have we seen how much I like to use profanity?
10. I've learned it's possible to have blogging friends....and that you just might like some of them a little better than in person friends. (No offense intended toward Kitty, Cowboy Dan, Fat Baby's Mamma and the like).

However, most importantly, I've learned that it is possible for me to piss away and entire year's worth of time without ever really saying anything meaningful! Woooooohoooooo!!!!

Here's to you, gentle reader! I thank you for being here. I thank you for commenting. I thank you for not running from your computer screen screaming "MY EYES!! MY EYES!!!".

With much love,
Vladimir Poopshoot


kari said...

Love it! Exciting to get a new look isn't it. I felt like I should have something really fabulous to say too. But I didn't. No surprise there.

VI said...

I am simply amazed!

kari said...

Ah yes! MUCH improved. Thanks for the heads-up! I'm LMAO!

VI said...

Well, I think you should post more often.
You ALWAYS make me laugh!

Sophmom said...

Floyd, you don't need to be able to spell or construct a sentence in order to write a book! That's what *editors* are for, silly girl! Any who needs cohesive subject matter. I'm sure that lack od cohesion is some kind of valid literary device. And, by all means, one must f'ing cuss, or no one will buy or read what you write!!

Congratulations on a year of blogging and the new look. I gave you a shout out on my blog. :D

Grey Biker said...

I was sent over from sophmom. Gonna add you my blogroll.

rosebud said...

I really like the new look, but I only saw the old look once, so does my opinion count. You really have a clever way with words. I can see I'm going to have to keep coming back here.