Monday, March 30, 2009

Freaking Mondays

Ugh. Ever sense a bad day on the horizon? I'm thinking this may be it. Nothing concrete telling me that - just my usual optimistic outlook on a Monday.

I just ate a brownie for breakfast. Is it possible to have PMS 3 weeks out of 4?

What fast food restaurants do you think get robbed more than the others? I think it's Taco Bell. I have no basis for this - I just envision Taco Bells getting more than their fair share of theft hijinks than other establishments. It's truly nothing against Taco Bell - I love a gordita as much as the next girl. But I'm thinking Taco Bells are targets for banditos.

I know none of this makes any sense but this is what goes through my brain on a regular basis. Pity me.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Just When You Thought It Was Safe...

I'm back.

And I know you didn't miss me. Don't lie to me. You haven't even thought about me these last 300 some odd days. Well, fine. I didn't think about you. Not one bit.

Okay, I lied. I missed you. I missed you all. I doubt you're still here but if you are, I love you and promise not to leave you again, (please note: see above remarks about me being a liar and such)

Considering my excessive absence, I think we'll have to break this down a bit into general refresher topics. (Look at me what with the all the organization and such! It's like a grown up Floyd!)

We'll start with me cause I'm really the most simple update.

I'm still the same. Next topic.

Eh. Maybe a few changes.

I'm back with a law firm. The solo trip just wasn't cutting it anymore as my cheapass clients went from simply being cheapasses to non-paying cheapasses. Amazing how many crazy people can save their money for bullets to kill the ex-spouse but can't seem to come up with a couple of bucks for their fearless representation. So I joined a firm in November but I'm still doing family law which is always oodles of fun and joy. And let's be clear, it's a hell of a lot easier to blog on someone else's time than on your own.

The POD moved out (more about her in next post or two) and I moved too. I moved in with a boy (and yes, I'm using the term "boy" very loosely but not in a "he's not masculine" sense but in a "he hasn't seen boyhood in many years" way). We'll call him Mr. Crankypants. We will do our best not to discuss Mr. Crankypants here as he is not exactly "blogger friendly". I think the widespread discussion of his particular traits and habits violates the ninja stealth code he lives by (ooops.....wasn't supposed to let his ninjaness out of the bag!). For those of you who know Mr. Crankypants in real life, keep your damn pie hole shut! He knows nothing, he sees nothing.....and that's how I'll stay alive.

One last little nuggett. Kitty got married. Kitty got married to a guy we'll call Judge a mere 3 weeks ago.

What does this mean, dear reader?

It means I'm the last single girl in my entire social world. Now who's the cranky one?

Fucking typical.

Coming soon: Top Ten Things Learned at Kitty's Wedding